Anaïs Ca Dao van Manen

The question of Identity has always been a difficult one for me. Maybe it is because I never felt like I belonged in a group, a city or a country. Even in Vietnam, where I should be calling home, it has been hard for me to fit in. My parents immigrated to Europe after the war, I was born in France. When we came back to Vietnam, I was enrolled in the French school there. They wanted us to have the best education possible in order to face the world. More than that, they wanted us to belong in the West as it would give us more opportunities in life. I will be forever grateful to them.

As I was trying to reconnect with my heritage through my cooking, I felt that I was neglecting all the other sides of me, all the other lives I’ve lived. I was on a mission and developed a case of tunnel vision. Everything I created became a message; everything I did was open to self-criticism. I now know I tried too hard. I didn’t allow for any freedom in my cooking because I was trying too hard to pass on a message or to connect to Vietnam. These things should just happen naturally.

As a chef, the cultures and experiences that we live through will eventually make their appearance on the table. I like to think that identity comes and goes, and that sometimes we need a break from it. Perhaps identity is not a singular matter but a multitude of “I’s”.


Words
Anaïs Ca Dao van Manen

Photography
Hugo van Manen

Styling
Selfina33

Assistant
Yoann Kim